Yeah…
I’m so paranoid when it comes to socializing. With friends, with girls, anyone…
If I walk past someone who happens to be laughing, I start to feel bad ’cause I think they’re laughing at me.
I’m afraid to be myself around people ’cause I’m always worried that I’m pissing people off or annoying the crap out of them. And if I think that happens, I start thinking that person hates me. I get paranoid to the point where if someone doesn’t respond to me quickly, I start feeling like I’ve offended them so much. — That sends me into a spiral of being overly regretful and apologetic, and I feel like I just ruined a friendship with someone.
So because of that, I always end up trying to act like the world’s nicest guy. But then I feel like an annoying ball of sunshine that won’t go away and I feel like I’m still annoying the hell out of people.
I also feel so awkward when friends introduce me to other people because I feel like I’m just butting in their space. I end up trying really hard to act how they act so they’ll like me, but then I end up making a fool out of myself and leaving feeling embarrassed.
If someone compliments me, I feel like they’re lying to me. When I -try- to like myself and be confident, I always feel like people are thinking otherwise about me, so I end up putting myself down so people would try to relate with me and try to talk to me. Sometimes I feel like people would accept me more if they felt sorry for me or something.
When it comes to girls, I always think I’m not good enough for them. I feel like I’m not really attractive, I’m not athletic, I’m not the brightest guy ever, I don’t have a big penis, I’m not a wild party guy, I don’t do “cool” stuff, I’m not the “bad boy” type, so many other things that think I’m not.
I’m shy, timid, fat, kinda nerdy, kinda meh. I feel like there’s nothing about me that a girl would like, or be attracted to.
Lots of girls have told me I’m cute, but that just makes me feel worse because I’ve read and heard that if a girl says a guy is “cute”, it means she’s not really interested or doesn’t find him attractive.
I’ve already seen a doctor and I’m already -on- happy pills, but all that’s done is made me calmer. I’m less prone to falling into bouts of anxiety rage and depression, but I’m still as paranoid as ever.
Fuck I hate thinking like this.
WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME ADVICE??????
Spadow Said:
on February 23, 2010 at 9:45 pm
Be yourself and see who wants to be your friend for who you are. Fuck those who don’t like you for who you are; they’re not your real friends anyway.
Andy Said:
on February 23, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Dude. I had the same problem as you when I was in my Sophomore year.
I couldn’t stand it.
How I solved it? I really don’t know. I actually just found something I liked (Acting/Theatre) and I started to be myself. I stopped being shy and stopped caring what other people thought of me. Next thing you know, I became talkative.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is, find something you enjoy. When you find that thing, hold on to it, and continue it.
Don’t rush yourself, the time will come.
Rigumaro Said:
on February 24, 2010 at 12:31 pm
You know Chris, I know this isn’t easy, but just be yourself. If you try to be accepted by acting like someone you aren’t, you’ll end up tired of pretending, and eventually be depressed for that. Trust me, I pretend a lot and I know what I’m talking about.
Also, any advices we could give you aren’t the solution. I have some of the same problems as you, and my friends always tell me: “You just have to be more social”, “Go out more often, and learn to like parties”, “Be more open to people”, blablabla…
And those kind of advices annoy me, because they are obvious and I already know them, is just that for some reason I cannot “perform” them.
I don’t know if this helps, but I understand how you feel.
Szhen Said:
on February 24, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Look, not all girls will like you, when the right person comes.. she will come, and that think of being fat,nerd,etc, you shouldn’t worry about, nobody is perfect, you see the things “that are bad” in yourself, but you are not watching the good things of yourself (: .
BE YOURSELF! dont think they wont accept u, if they consider u as a friend whatever u like, what ever u do, THEY WILL, if not.. FUCK EM! they dont worth it. The real friends are the ones who whatever u do , they will accept u, dont forget that.
AND one important thing: maybe youre not counting friends because the ones you count are the ones you want em to care about you, but the true thing is that friends you really got, are friends you are not counting, but they really count u as a friend.
Hope i helped, Szhen (Szhentto in KMS)
Imitazion Said:
on February 24, 2010 at 1:25 pm
Lol blog
Cullen Said:
on February 25, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Hey Chris, try being yourself instead of trying to impress; I was exactly the same as you going to a high school none of my old friends were at; I used to sit by myself, talk to myself, cry in the hallways, etc, etc. I was too afraid to talk to anyone so if anybody came up to me and started talking to me, I would they’re lying to me and I would walk away as they were talking to me. Girls told me I was ‘cute’ but really it was there way of saying “You aren’t very social.” About a month later I still afraid of people, until I met this one person named Jay (a guy) I don’t really know how we became friends, but it just clicked./story
Everybody is different, not everyone makes friends as fast as others do, some are faster, some are slower, etc. Try joining clubs and go into social activities, I haven’t tried it but I heard some people that went through the same thing as you went to places like that and got friends that way; but then-again everybody is different.
Josh Said:
on March 4, 2010 at 8:00 pm
DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT OTHERS OR WHATEVER THEY FUCKIN THINK. IF NECESSARY. get into reality, dont think of yourself being a loser, it only makes yourself look more of it. Think positive AND STAY FUCKING POSITIVE, then positive things will happen.
to bad i had to write this when im pissed.